don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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