I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We are two peas in an std pod
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am naked and annoyed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
