I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
