ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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