How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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