my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think your dad took our porno
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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