just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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