I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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