Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
His nipple licking is glorious
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