i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
