I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He kissed a someone with a penis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
