So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
