your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
should my penis look like a turkey
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
