I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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