so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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