Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
