some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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