Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
