I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
