two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The adults are the big ones right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
