i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
