I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
