She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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