Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize