i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
