He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
