So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
