so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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