Where are you?
In a non slutty way
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
