dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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