well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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