Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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