oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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