I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
