I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
pray to the hookup gods
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
