And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need moral support for this bender
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
