Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
