I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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