i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
