I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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