I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
