I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize