he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
