Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
