he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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