She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
