Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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