i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
