So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
