Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
