I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
