Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
