i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
