why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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