When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
