the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize