dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
