My nipple is on Facebook.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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