Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
