Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We need to get me chipped asap
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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